That time I spent a whole day in the park...

It was hard to anticipate the weather that day, but I settled on a scarf to accompany my jacket because it is usually chilly in the morning and I was gonna be outside all day. I wanted to keep it simple so I filled my water bottle, emptied my wallet of all but a few bills and coins, left my phone and packed a notebook in a used plastic grocery bag. I ate breakfast not knowing if that would be all I ate that day, but I should've known better. I arrived to the park just after 9am when it was still cloudy and my friend who is 12 was already there making the little baggies of bird seed for the pigeons. This is the livelihood of her and her family, everyday they sit in the park, selling food to people who want to feed the pigeons for Q1 each, about 15 cents. She started to show me how to fill the bags and tie them properly at the top. I was extremely slow at filling my little bags and finished 1 while she finished 3 or 4. When we finished, she set up a little jenga pile between us and the pigeons and then we sat on the concrete bench as people approached buying one bag at time.

Her mom Gloria, arrived a couple hours later, but her brother who is 10 and usually with them wasn't coming that day. Gloria and shall I say, her man-friend set up another pile of bird seed down aways from us and if her brother had come he would've manned a third one. The granddaughter of Gloria who is 5 or 6 years old also came along, mostly to play with friends that she quickly found. Shortly after Gloria arrived a women who was selling cut fruit and who had passed us several times stopped to tell me Gloria had bought her daughter and I some fruit to eat and choose what we would like. I realized then that I was being treated like their guest and by guest I mean like family. People come first here and you don't want your people to be hungry.  For lunch she bought me a hot chicken tamale that I shared and it quickly calmed by hunger panes. By late afternoon it is customary here to have coffee with some bread/rolls and sure enough like clockwork I was offered both, hot coffee and some bread to share.

I noticed the families that would come and go, who were enjoying a stroll through the park and those like us, that were set up for the whole day selling a variety of things from toys, to jewelry, gum and chocolates. I met two young sisters whose mom was selling toys in the park and we became fast friends probably because a pen and paper could've entertained them for hours. As the time passed the shade left us and the sun which feels quite warm here was beating down on us as we sheltered under umbrellas propped up in a variety ways. By the late afternoon the girls had to leave with Gloria for a party, but I told her I would stay and keep selling for her and her family because I wanted to experience a full day. I also thought it was the least I could do since they so graciously "hosted" me for the day. If I was able to sell a little more for them I figured it couldn't hurt.  Gloria didn't want me to be alone, which is thoughtful,  so she had a friend of hers sit with me for the rest of time. I packed up their things and mine about 5:45pm.

I didn't get bored, but I did get a little sleepy. My clothes felt really dirty because every time the flock of pigeons were startled they would create a gust of wind blowing everything around. This happened frequently because running through a flock of pigeons is apparently universally fun for children and for some adults too. I didn't go hungry. I made new friends. I got less questions from strangers then when I'm out playing with the kids. I was able to help. I was blessed. I would do it again.

Party of....60!

My team hosted a big Christmas party for the kids/families we know that work in the park. About 60 kids came and it isn't uncommon for 7 or more of them to be from one family! We had a brief message about advent, played some games and ate homemade tamales together. We also gave out goody bags to all the kids that came. It was a lot of work and a little chaotic, but totally worth it! I hope you can see the pictures on Facebook. We have also started having a weekly bible study in the park with some of the girls. It is for any of the kids that want to come, but usually just the girls want to pay attention :) I have been enjoying this time and I hope to one day have a house where I can host a group of girls for all kinds of different things (games, art, baking, etc). There is a young mom who works in the park with 2 young kids that have grown to like me. The littlest one who is 2, will reach out for me to pick her up and the boy who is 4 wants me to twirl him, wrestle with him or he just wants to hang on me. Both are adorable and often in the park with their mom.

For awhile I have been wanting to spend a whole day in the park like these families do for work. Arrive when they do, leave when they do, eat when they do etc. I think I could actually learn a lot about the dynamics of the "regulars" which I'm curious about. I see a lot of mom's working hard for their kids and some kids working hard to help their family/siblings. I have a lot to learn and I'm so curious about their stories. It wouldn't take much for me to give up a Saturday and spend the day working/learning/spending a day in their shoes. It would be a great cultural learning experience as I do my best to be a learner and a good neighbor

From a local market to Walmart

A couple Fridays ago a group from my school went to this famous outdoor market called San Francisco El Alto. It is a town above Xela that transforms into one giant market on Fridays. The streets are closed off except for a few to let the buses come and go, but otherwise it is a giant sea of vendors. Because it is so crowded I was advised against taking my phone so I don't have pictures, but apparently you can find anything there. We saw a section of people selling livestock (cows, sheep, goats, pigs, chickens, turkeys) and another section for puppies, kittens and birds. Lots of fruit and vegetables, different types of meat including crocodile!! Plenty of clothes, shoes, household items and I saw a few people selling rocks. It was quite hectic so we walked around for a bit, had a snack and then left. The buses for longer trips, that leave from Xela are old school buses from the states. They are usually decked out with colorful paint or decorations. They are called "chicken buses" because there is a rack on top which holds the cargo of the passengers including chickens :) Personal space has a whole different meaning in most countries outside of the US so I can tell you the bus was FULL! Luckily, with people and not chickens, but wow.

Over the weekend I went to the hometown of my teacher which is about half way between Xela and the Mexico border. There was a big sale like Black Friday in a Mexican town about 45 minutes from the border. I need to leave Guatemala very 3 months to renew my visa so this was a good opportunity. We travelled all the way to Mexico to go to......Walmart! I couldn't get over the irony, but they did have good sales. The peso is weaker than the quetzal so prices that were already cheaper in Mexico were even better during the sale. I only bought a coloring book for the kids in the park, but my friends stocked up on soap, shampoo, make up, etc. There were people with some overflowing carts proving that "black friday sales" appeal to the consumer in all of us. Whether this is good or bad, I'm not sure but apparently "good deals" cross cultures. 

I See You

Over the weekend I attended a bonfire for the youth of the church I have been attending. It isn't a big church with just maybe 6-8 youth, but my teammates Chris and Liz serve regularly and hosted this bonfire for them. We sang, roasted marshmallows, had a little bible study and shared a simple meal. I was reminded that regardless of size, fellowship and community are two really cool things. My love language, or the way I like to express my care for others is quality time and words of affirmations Due to my limited language, words of affirmations are more difficult and so it has been a challenge for me to trust that "presence ministry" is enough. Whether it is sharing snacks and sodas or coloring together or hugs, I have to believe that this enough, that being present, attentive and acknowledging human dignity is a witness itself. Knowing names, acknowledging others seems like very little, but I don't think we can underestimate the power of these things which usually cost us very little.

In the states I try on occasion when someone asks for money to first ask their name and introduce my self giving us both dignity. I'm not just a free hand out and they are not defined by their need. This brings some dignity to the situation. Sometimes it leads to more, a conversation or a meal and other times it is just an acknowledgement of our humanness. The point for me is to communicate, I see you as a person and I am one too. This is powerful gift to offer but hard to measure. Being in another country and culture, this challenge is more apparent and not any easier, but it is a lesson I can learn and practice everyday.

#lovewins

It was interesting to be out of the country during the recent news of the election. I felt the same as some of you, grieved, sad, confused and speechless. What is interesting, is to talk to my Spanish teacher about this and explain to her our voting system. With Hilary winning the popular vote, but losing the election, my teacher asked, "Then where is the democracy?" Great question. In her opinion the US is the most powerful country in the world and has been to war fighting for democracy in other countries. She couldn't believe that our voting system could be called democratic. I tried to explain the theory behind the representation of voted officials etc. For me, it is interesting to hear her perspective and her opinion about our new president and to learn about the perspective of others who don't live in the US. I have a chance from the outside to hear and see the message the US is now sending to the world.

Our friend who is struggling with addiction has been in a rehab center for about 2 weeks. At first, we couldn't find her for a few days. Checking her house, the hospitals, jail and even the morgue. Come to find out a pastor took her from the park to this center he has to help addicts. It is not the best situation and none of us feel really comfortable with it so next week she will be moving in with Chris and our team will take over caring for her. This is still not an easy situation because she has spent most of her life on the streets so adjusting to expectations and responsibility are new. Overcoming addiction is about literally changing everything. This journey for her and for us, takes time, wisdom, patience, perseverance and lots of prayer.

Another girl from the states is visiting our team for 2 weeks. She is considering joining our team and came like I did two years ago to spend time with the team and experience life here. My team leader Karla, decided it would be fun for us the girls of the team to run a 5k. There are quite a few races here  because running is a popular hobby. With the altitude the two Guatemalans from our team had a big advantage during our first "training run" over Christa and I. The race is in 10 days so who knows if I will be able run it all. It might be my first 5k walk/run here and I can build up to an actual 5k run :)

Slides, Soccer and Salsa

This last week I felt like I was starting to settle into a routine. Language classes in the morning, various activities in the afternoon and then down time for the evening. I would like to think my spanish is improving even if just slightly in the last two weeks. My brain just processes what i want to say soooo slowly. Xela is surrounded by mountains and we drove up to see a really pretty view of the city. It was a cloudy day, but still a nice view. There also were these steep concrete slides built side by side on this large hill. How do you slide down a slide made of concrete, you ask? By sitting on a flattened plastic bottle of course! They were flattened out 2 liter bottles and boy they worked a little too good!

German got a soccer team together of several boys that work in the park for a tournament. Saturday was their first game and though it didn't go well, they started having practices. It is fun to watch teenage boys be teenage boys despite the hard life and hard work they experience. At the park on Friday we took some games to the park, Jenga, chutes and ladders, memory and some coloring pages. We spent an hour and half playing with whatever kids were around. There is a brother and sister who work in the park I think all day now, because school is out. He is 10 and she is 12 and they help their mom by selling bird seed for the pigeons. When they have school I usually see them in the afternoon. It has been fun to see them and stop and talk for a little while. They are patient with my Spanish or they just like to ask me how to say lots of different things in english. Either way it is entertaining for us both.

Over the weekend I experienced a bit of the nightlife here in Xela. I went out with my spanish teacher and some of her friends/co-workers. We went to two different dance clubs. One played more American/electric dance music and the other more latin music. I don't ever go out dancing, but here it so popular that I think if i go again I prefer the salsa music :)

My first week in Xela.

This was my first, M-F week trying to grasp a routine and schedule between spanish classes, meetings, ministry and tutoring. I have started 5 days a week of spanish classes for 5 hours a day, which if it sounds like a lot, it is. It is one-on-one which is really nice and completely in spanish if that wasn't obvious. I get along great with my teacher who is just a few years younger than me. I have taken a week of spanish classes, why am I not fluent yet??

This week there was tutoring in the afternoons. My greatest contribution to this was playing basketball and fútbol with the kids after homework. I can play, homework help, not so much. Now they have like 2 months off (winter break) so I don't know what our afternoons will be like. On fridays we have a more formal ministry in the park with handing out food and playing games with the kids. This week we went in the morning so some of the kids that work in the park were at school. It was mostly the littles like 5 and under who are with their moms who are selling snacks, fruit and etc. Some of the women walk around and others have carts they stand by. Talk about working moms! In the afternoon you see the older kids maybe 8-12 years old helping their mom. The shoe-shine boys are a bit older and around off and on all day. German is trying to get a fútbol team together of these older boys that work in the park for a tournament this month.

2 heartbreaking issues important to me.. Child abuse/ Human trafficking and Addiction.

My first two days we had a training on child sexual abuse and human sex trafficking. Talk about a vocabulary lesson!  It was put on by a great organization that works with youth who come into Mexico without papers and are sent to detention centers in Mexico. As you can imagine this is a very vulnerable population. Anyone, but especially young girls without resources or away from their family are specifically targeted by predators who manipulate them and exploit them. They do it by earning their trust with gifts and empty promises, basically appearing to be the man of their dreams before forcing them into prostitution through violence. They are sociopaths, really. It is a sobering reality that is no longer happening somewhere else, "out there" but a risk for girls in my backyard. I am forced to confront the gut wrenching burden of fighting and bringing awareness to this injustice.

I mentioned a friend of the team who is addicted to glue and literally wasting away. I amend my statement that their are not many good places for rehab. For her, there are NONE! There are several for men and one for women who struggle with alcohol but who won't take her due the vicious withdrawal symptoms of drugs. She needs help, wants help and there is no where for her to go. It is so hard for me to believe and accept this reality. What does she do? What does our team do to help  keep this from killing her? In Karla's words, "We trust God and we fight for her." This is such an emotional burden on my team because they have known her for years. Our only option is detoxing her at someone's house which is INSANE, but not impossible. I'm sure she is not the only female in the whole city who is addicted to drugs and wants to get clean. Such a lack of options and resources because she is a female!

Being here is part, what we "do" the first part of this blog and part "how" we love and care for those we  meet who are vulnerable or who would ordinarily go unnoticed.  I am blessed greatly by both.

The little things,' like a warm(er) shower

I anticipated a learning a curve that's for sure. Mistakes, taboos, mishaps, etc when learning a new language or entering a new culture. The funny thing is you expect them to happen, but you don't actually know they are happening, without help or luck. I have been taking luke-warmish showers. Like with a shiver here and there, a quick in and out but not impossible type of shower. Of course I don't want to complain because maybe that is just the way it is. I mean there is one valve to turn. I give it a few turns until what seems like a reasonable flow and well, it is just not very hot. I was not looking forward to washing my hair but I did, and I mentally told myself,  I will get used to this. It is not that bad. insert *shiver* Wanting to experience the warmth for as long as possible I stood under it as I slowly turned the valve off expecting it to become increasingly colder. But, NO! It got hotter. The more turns towards "off", righty-tighty, the warmer it got. As the flow slowed, the temperature went up! Obviously this was an amazing discovery, but one I would have never guessed. Think about it with me now, at home, the more we turn a knob or valve on, the more the water temperature will increase. If I was to turn the one knob in my shower just a little, the water would be freezing. In fact I turn it "on" all the way to get hot water. But alas, Guatemala, you are the opposite. I'm so glad it only took me a couple days to learn to this. I'm going to try it with the sink now when I wash my hands.

It is these little things and obviously much bigger things that amaze me about culture and the way people do things in different places. It is so fascinating, I love it!!!!

Bienvenidos! (Day 1)

I'm going to make a concentrated effort to be consistent with this blog. It is my first day so I have plenty of time, but writing here or in my journal is a good spiritual practice to adopt.  I wanted to record first impressions and thoughts because even just a month from now they will change. In a way all the buildings and streets look so similar. Last time I was here I tried to walk to the park by myself with a mental note of landmarks however this was hindered by stores being closed and not looking quite the same. Like any new place, I have to learn to get places without the added benefit of GPS, but with landmarks and memory. I'm determined to improve in this area however the perfectionist in me doesn't understand why I don't know it already!! silly...

That this is my new home and not just a visit hasn't sunk in yet, but as things become more familiar and my spanish hopefully improves it will start to feel like home without too much effort. There is so much to learn, not just about the place and language, but the people and the culture. So exciting! Monday the team had a big celebration for the day of the children. I was here for it 2 years ago but this year they had 75 kids! They were kids from the neighborhood and from the park. What a cool thing to love on so many kids. It goes to show much the team loves what they do. I can't wait to slowly become a part of it. There is the other side of it too, walking by a couple women who prostitute on the corner where I'm staying and being visited by a friend of theirs who is a addict. She is addicted to sniffing glue, she was looking skinny and dirty and not able to stand well. Liz has befriended her and shared some food with her and is hoping to get her to rehab, but there aren't many good choices. The team fasted and prayed for her a couple weeks ago. She is one to keep in your prayers. Thanks for all you have done. Your love, prayers and support to both me and family is greatly appreciated!!

Goodbye is Goodbye

For now, goodbye is goodbye

To the way we see the world together

The embraces we share and the laughter

We create.

There are no words I can use to describe the ache.

It is my voice that has gone mute and

My words are foreigners in a strange land

Lost, confused, but trying to make sense

Of what it is to know, it is I who left.

There is no way to do it right, that

Makes it hurt less. I must cling to knowing

What I have learned and believe is the truth

Letting go, frees me and it frees you

Loved one,

I’ll see you in my dreams, my memories

And in the pieces of you that have become part of me

Together, but separate we will walk ahead

And when those paths cross, I’ll hold you again.

Do you see me?

When beauty from ashes becomes literal

When the tragedy and glory of the cross

finds its home on the streets

When loving leads to speechless joy

and unbearable pain

I find myself treading in the waters

of meaning. Am I safe or am I drowning?

When I stand faceless in the crowd,

casting stones at “the other”,  to hide my own pain

and fear and insecurities

When I tire from the façade, but weep

at the thought of being seen

Do you God, turn your face away?

When I ache with helplessness

Running the marathon of justice

When my hope is left for dead

in the pit of disappointment

will those bones rise?

the weight

The weight I carry makes me feel stronger

The more I hold, the more I do, the more I am

The work, the burdens are proof of strength

The weight I carry wears me down

The more I hold, the more I do, the less I am

The work, the burdens are I seek to control

I pick up what is not mine to carry,

I hold more then I need to 

I mistakenly think work equals worth

The weight I lay down at the cross is Yours

The more I let go, the less I control, the more You are

The work, the burdens, are proof I need You.