where my heart was two years ago and where it longs to be again...
When we see beauty we are “de self-centered.” By experiencing something transcendent, we willingly step aside and stand in awe of something else for a moment – our attention is momentarily diverted from our own drives, our passion, our self-interested pursuits. When we behold something beautiful, we are glad to step aside, to be quiet, to give the beautiful subject our voluntary allegiance…Moments of experiencing beauty evoke this kind of willing “step aside” response. (Joel Klepac, serves in Romania with WMF)
This is it! If only i could have said it like that. That statement is exactly why Kolkata stole my heart. Its why I didn’t miss the ”american/luxerious” life. No thing/food/experience here at home could compare to the beauty i experienced in India. (However the refills of lemonade at the american restaurant in Chennai would have been put in the “beautiful” category at the time). The beauty of the people there captured me and whisked me away. I know its crazy to say the most ugly, horrible, unjust place I have ever been was the most beautiful place I have ever experienced. I guess amidst the darkness the light was that much brighter and amidst the ugliness the beauty was more breathtaking. The beauty of a smile, laughter, a child, a kind word, a loving embrace, and the beautiful value of our fellow human beings drew me into the oddest experiences; places with rats, sitting on piles of garbage, being the center of attention, mocked and pointed at, getting lice, sitting on the street, sitting in the brothels, eating rice until i was going to vomit, sitting with the dying, hanging out in the slums, dancing like a fool and eating food so spicy it made me cry. But all of that faded away into the shadows of the radiance coming from the image of Christ I saw and experienced through the lives there. What i thought was important wasn’t really that important and what i thought really mattered, didn’t really matter. For a good part of the trip i was afraid to fully love and be loved back. I was afraid of the risk of love; of being disappointed, hurt, taken advantage of, or feeling dumb, but then when i finally had the eyes to see, I saw the beauty I would willing “step aside” for.
Now imagine our Beautiful God…