My quirks

Like everyone i have things that make me unique and probably a bit odd, but they make me, me. I prefer to search through the movies A-Z when i'm at blockbuster. Starting anywhere but the A's throws me off. As previously stated I organize my shirts in my closet by sleeve length, eating Melon makes my ears itch and i hate when cabinet or cupboard doors are left open. frozen bread is not my favorite either. "shudder..." these are just silly things, nothing i'm too attached to i hope. Then I have these other quirks that are no easier to understand, but are more than just preferences. Perhaps, they are more like convictions or at least I would like them to be. I have added one to the list this week. No more food eating contests.

This taco tuesday we talked ourselves into a taco eating contest. At 49 cents a taco its a reasonable and affordable challenge. Some people could enjoy the first place, 3 way tie of 9 tacos and rice and beans, but i could not. Being stuffed fuller than i can imagine as if food is a luxury or just a game left me feeling inconsiderate and selfish. What pains me more is that i felt it wasn't right but did it anyways. You can call me weird or call it silly, but I cannot enjoy it when a very dear friend of mine and her family in India survive on 1 meal a day. When her younger sister is barley more than skin and bones and her other sister's cute pot belly is due to worms and malnutrition. They live in a slum along the road i traveled often and it became my favorite place to be. It is not just knowing them or their situation that fuels my shame, but its that i claim to love them and they loved me. I acted as if they are less important or valuable than the friends I sat at the table with. You may not see the connection between a seemingly harmless taco eating contest and the poverty and hunger in the world but I feel it down deep.

Dear Beloved,

I need to ask for your forgiveness. I take responsibility for my offense. There is no excuse for my carelessness. I was selfish and inconsiderate. I know the act does not seem that great, but its my heart that grieves me. If you were in my presence I would have never acted the way I did and to do so in secret, like I could get away with it, is even more humiliating. Most will not understand, but I must take responsibility for what I have not just seen or heard of from a distance, but for what I have walked through, sat in and held in my hands. You welcomed me into the little you had and still gave me all you could. No matter what i did i could not out give you. The least i can do is honor your sacrifice and let it teach me. Please keep reminding me because I tend to forget what reality is. Its easier for me to live in another world that demands less of me. I do call you friend and I want you to know i mean it. Jesus has broken the barriers that could've been. You are no less valuable or lovable to me. You offer me accountability and love that no other friend can. I'm thankful for you. Forgive me for not being more considerate. I am far from perfect but for all that you taught me, its the least I can do.

Bhalo thako. Dekha hoybe.

Spring Cleaning

Yesterday I finally tackled the task of spring cleaning. It started with a car wash. I can't rely on the rain anymore. Then i moved onto my room: my bed, my desk, the walls, the floors, my closet are all dusted and sparklingly clean. Next was the wardrobe. I figured it was time to trade in the hoodies, sweatshirts and fleeces for t-shirts, shorts and of course my beach clothes. In my attempt to live with less and more simply by rule I try to keep only what I use. Its so easy to end up with so much I don't really need or ever use. It helps me to just pull out everything i have cuz once i see it all, there is always too much. It feels good to be organized. One ridiculous type A thing i did is hang my shirts in increasing sleeve length order. I don't think this is weird. I think it is helpful. This way all my tank tops are together, then my t-shirts, then my 3 quarter sleeves, then my long sleeves. Its a beautiful thing. It brings me joy. I don't see any other way.

live simply so others may simply live.

The boy i beat at basketball

his name is Jon.

I smell like burnt popcorn

Life has been full lately with both fun things and serious things. i'll talk about the random fun things. I really do smell like burnt popcorn. Without fail, i burn the popcorn at work. I blame it on the microwave. I beat a boy at basketball this week. It was fun. I won at horse twice. I started running again. well i mean i ran twice this week and tomorrow will be 3 times. i walked out of church on sunday partially cuz the pastor presented the need for maintenance on their fountain outside their church. it will cost 250,000 dollars. a great need he said. i disagree. i have been thinking about the controversy over the Olympics being held in china. http://www.dreamfordarfur.org/. be informed. do your part. these words are from one of my friend's songs: "May indifference never tempt someone to say, "it's not my fight,"Change is subject to the hope we hang onto with all our life,There is hope that all things will be made a new, but not right now,But you and I, we can try to make things right." I had decided I wasn't "called" to Africa and I didnt have the desire to really go. Now i'm thinking about going to Sierra Leone. wasn't my idea. I order the Greek Pizza when i go to California Pizza Kitchen. I'm eating my leftovers right now. I'm also listening to AIr1 online. i haven't listened to it in a long time. there is some new stuff. christian radio isn't that bad. i wish i could go to the beach tomorrow. its supposed to be 90 degrees. i want to go swimming. the rumor is true. i did watch Lord of the Rings. i have got to be careful or Pride and Prejudice might be next. i'm trying to take more study breaks for Jesus. less email and facebook. more prayer. although its late, i'm not tired so i'm going to read for fun.

Acres of Hope

He will allure her
He will pursue her
And call her out
To wilderness with flowers in His hand
She is responding
Beat up and hurting
Deserving death
But offerings of life are found instead

She will sing
She will sing
Oh, to You
She will sing as in the days of youth
As You lead her away
To valleys low
To acres of hope
Acres of hope

Here in the valley
Walk close beside me
Don’t look back
For love is growing vineyards up ahead
You have called me master
And though you’re in the dark here
Call me friend
And call me lover and marry me for good

How the story ends is
Love and tenderness in Him
Not safe, but worth it
So the valley’s up ahead
Or the ones we live
We’ll sing together
We’ll sing together

We will sing
We will sing
Oh, to You
We will sing as in the days of youth
As You lead us away
To valleys low
To acres of hope
Acres of hope

why?

A few months back 3 girls who were younger than me, but who i went to George Fox with got into a car accident. One of them died. She wasn't a friend, but i knew her and my mind raced with the various interactions i remember. Now a guy who was older than me, but who i went to George Fox with was hit by a car and died. I knew him through friends. What makes it worse in ways i can't imagine, is in the car that hit him were my two really good friends also Fox Alum. They are married now, but I went to the Philippines with him and lived and played soccer with her. They were friends with the guy who died. sick.

http://www.newsregister.com/news/story.cfm?story_no=233146