Thursday, November 12, 2015

What I'd rather be doing

I went through all the options in my mind. I could be a nanny, a doctor, chiropractor, paramedic, cop, nurse, social worker, counselor, teacher, pastor, writer or a student (again). I could literally do anything I wanted and if I couldn't, I just imagined I could.  I tried to let my mind wander and see where my dreams would take me.  My youth pastor's famous line that I couldn't forget was "you have to be who you are supposed to be, before you can do what you're supposed to do." Well I have felt like the last 8 years have been spent "being"; being broken, being lost, being restored, being healed, being made whole. Only now at 32 years old am I able to figure out what I get to "do" with my life. I felt like I had the freedom to pick anything, but I didn't. 

I can't imagine doing anything else. That's what I picked.

A missionary. 

I tried not to. I tried to choose something else more traditional, but in the end there is nothing I'd rather do then move to another country, learn another language and culture and serve God among the poor, marginalized and unnoticed of our world. Bear witness to the Kingdom of God among us, love those who believe they are unlovable, give value to those who feel unworthy, and share hope with those who have lost it. It is my heartbeat, the blood in my veins, moving every single part of me towards being more fully who God has made me. Making disciples, that make disciples. 

I can give 100% of my being to God when I know who I am and with this new step, the process of "being" just starts over. Can't wait to meet you, Guatemala.