Lord teach us to pray...

Highlight of the day: Being inside the Supreme Courtroom during the Anna Nicole Smith Trial. We got to go in for 5 mins during the hearing. It was the real deal, the real Supreme Court, the real Supreme Court Justices, real lawyers getting grilled by the Justices, real Anna Nicole Smith, but I didn't see her. It was incredible to think we were actually there. It was pretty awesome.

Today I saw: The Lincoln Memorial, Jefferson Memorial, WW2 Memorial, Vietnam War Memorial, Korean War Memorial (the bus left me behind at that one), the White House, the Pentagon, the National Catherdral,the place MLK Jr stood when he gave his "I have a dream" speech, the Washington Monument and the reflection pool. All of this was at night, so it was pretty moving. There is so much history, so many stories and purpose here, its pretty incredible. The places where everything was built, where it faces, what shape it makes in the city etc, all was done intentionally when it was built. Pretty unreal.

Still to come: We will get to sit in when the House/Senate is in session and pray for them as they vote for certain matters. We will be meeting and hopefully praying for the 2 Senators of Oregon, Gordon Smith and Ron Wyden. I'm not sure exactly what else, but I'm certain it will be divine.

Everywhere we went we prayed for our nation and its people. We prayed for the President in front of the WH, we prayed for abortion to end at the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, we intercessed for our parents generation at the Vietnam Memorial, we lifted up our generation as we drove through Georgetown, we prayed for the Supreme Court in the Courthouse. Its all kinda unreal. We also went on a prayer walk through one of the buildings where all the congressmen/women have their offices. The Pastor we are with knows SO many people and has some awesome stories of how God is touching our nation in D.C. I know on the west coast we don't pay attention much to politics or the government. I always have had a uninformed negative view of all our government and what was happening. There is so much going on I see why we should be informed and why we must pray. South Dakota made abortion illegal in their state expect if the mother's life is at risk. This is huge! This decision is going to be fought all the way to the Supreme Court. In our lifetime we will probably see the Supreme Court have to decide on the issue of abortion once again and give each State the right to decide. Pastor Ken said that abortion is a big issue here obviously and he thinks its possible that we will see the ruling of Roe vs. Wade overturned. This is all going on right now while we are on Earth as Christs ambassadors, just one reason friends why we must pray.

Museums, Museums, Museums!

Today it was calculated we walked for 8 hours straight. Well worth it to see the National Museum of Air and Space, The National Archives (I saw the original Declaration of Independence, Bill of Rights and US Constitution), National Museum of Natural History ( dinosaurs!), National Museum of American History, the Washington Monument, and the White House and Lincoln Memorial from afar. Lots to see around here. We still have the Holocaust Museum, Arlington National Cementary, the War memorials etc. But tomorrow we get down to business and are going to the National Prayer Center and meeting the pastor who is organizing our trip. I have no idea what to expect or what we will be doing. I'm really excited.

Take 2!

Well I made it here to Washington D.C. Second time is a charm. Everything went pretty well except descending into Baltimore was really bumpy. People were throwing up cuz of the turbulence, but I made it out ok and kept my lunch down. With the time change we were driving to our hotel at sunset, which was absolutely beautiful. The Washington Monument was on the horizon, it was so cool that I was seeing it in person. Later this week we are doing a night tour of the Wahington Momument and the Lincoln memorial. Its going to be awesome at sunset. I can't wait. Tomorrow is the Smithsonian and then the next three days are at the prayer center and doing some touring. God is up to something awesome and new. I know I will leave here totally new. New vision new passion, new burdens. He told me I was here because I needed something I didn't have yet. I have a lot to learn and a lot is ahead of me. Please pray the spirit of obedience and surrender that got me here would continue throughout the whole trip and I would guard my heart against pride. The Lord is starting something...

Just kidding!

Well apparently I was joking when I thought I was leaving this morning at 5am. However, I didn't realized the joke until I had already been dropped off at the airport and called my pastors looking for my group. It was then that I thought since nobody from my group was there I better check my itinerary again and WALA, departure date reads, "Sunday Feb. 26." There were really no words for that moment of revelation. Some profane words were going through my mind, but they were quickly in and out as I called Kristin to inform her she needed to turn around. So i went outside to wait for her to come back as I sat on the frozen metal bench cherishing this "snowglobe" moment.

How did this happen you ask? I have no clue. I wish I could blame it on the lack of sleep this past week, being sick, or on the naroctic in the cough syrup I took last night, but even though I'm tired, sick and out of it I thought I was leaving on the 24th for about a month now. Which is so strange because I checked my work schedule and I had requested the 26th- march 4 off for this trip. On my planner I starred both the 26th and the 4th, you would think I would pay attention and the intinerary i printed off with my flight info definately says Feb 26th. Despite ALL that, I still was convinced I was leaving this morning so I didn't go my prayer meeting last night, I cancelled a meeting I was supposed to have today, I told my professor I wouldn't be in class this morning, I packed last night and got all ready to leave, I left for the airport at 4:15am with two incredible friends, got dropped off and only THEN realized I was wrong. Unbelievable!

oh yeah and just to throw in another twist after I realized I wasn't leaving today, it occurred to me that i probably have to work tomorrw. And guess what? I do. Are you serious? How in the world did I think I was leaving this morning? Its kinda funny now, will be way more funny later and maybe a good sermon illustration one day.

PSYCHED!

I'm so excited for my trip I can't even tell you. Yes, its the same trip I was dreading a week ago, but thanks be to God that his power works IN us as much as it works around us. I have never felt such joy, peace and excitement about being completely out of control of a situation. Its totally grace!

Prayer requests for the me, group and trip:
1. We are expecting God to surprise us
2. He would turn darkness into light before us
3. I really desire meaningful divine friendship cuz I don't know anyone else who is going
4. Pray there would continue to be less of me and that God would reveal His will to me.

This trip is forcing me to rely on God's power.

I'm taking my computer with me cuz how can i survive life without email and internet? ;) I'll try to update when I can. Please be praying, we do not fight against flesh and blood.

Time to clean, pack, work the baseball game and get ready to leave for a week.

Holy Spirit, make us more full.

A six pack of what?

I love hiking. The satisfaction of gettting to your destination is worth the most physical demanding times of your life. Its always worth it. Think about what we put ourselves throught for the "view", "the river", "the top", "the bottom", or "the most beautiful place on earth." Its amazing to me which is why i think i like it so much. Its such a high and rush of aderaline accomplishing the goal of the hike. Such a joy of accomplishement. When we went to the beach last weekend its the trek up the hillside that made me feel most alive. Its was awesome. I love adventures. I miss hiking. I'm so glad the beach trip included such a wonderful view of the ocean from the hilltops.

I'm finished with work for over a week. I'm totally in the work groove/routine though so its weird to start up and then keep stopping. I will come back from DC work 2 weeks and then go to MS for a week. Then I won't work the end of April/ beginning of May because of graduation and a backpacking trip to Havasu Fall in AZ. Besides the normal summer outings and a trip on our waverunner with Britt, I would like to fit in a trip to Asia before September. I figure this is really my last "summer" unless I become a teacher I don't just get 3 months off anymore. However, the reality of financing my "real life" after college is becoming more and more difficult to ignore so i may end up of getting pulled back down to earth and my job.

Random goings of life:

I'm excited to see who ends up as the summer roommates. I have decided to stay in the yellow house and there are some awesome potential canidates. I hope everyone can do it. It would be so fun! Ohhh, i'm excited :)

I'm sick of being sick. I have gotten like 8hrs of sleep in the last 4 nights, stupid cough! My abs hurt I think I'm getting a six pack. I was finally desperate enough to make an appt with the Dr. to get some medicine before i leave. Mostly out of pity for my roommate and anyone i have to share a room with. I know I keep myself up so I feel horrible if other people can't sleep. I think its me and the couch tonight.

Potlucks are awesome. All i had to do was make chicken and stuffing and I got to eat spaghetti, green bean casserole, stuffed pizza, biscuits, salad, bread, olive dip and root beer. How cool is that??

If you could ask the President one question what would it be?

Next year I won't be doing missions through my church.
I'm taking my national certification exam June 11 in Seattle,WA.
I'm staying in newberg for the summer, but i already told you that.
My Senior Thesis topic : Alzheimers Disease

Its like looking for your glasses when they are on your head.

Or this one time I was looking for my cell phone, like in my pockets, on my desk, everywhere in my room and then after a solid minute I realized I was talking on it. Unreal! Who does that?? I felt like the doofus of the month, I probably was.

Valentines came and went. My roommate's boyfriend was really sweet and bought Fegles and I each a rose. It was so sweet. Its all decked out with baby's breath, a red bow and standing in a wine bottle. Its cute. It makes me feel special. I also got a little bouqet from my parents with a little travel pack of m&m's. But TODAY, was the best. At work I realized we had these little cute decorative thingy's that had candy hearts in them. You know, the candy hearts. All you have to do is start reading them and then handing them out to random people and its a ball. I can't believe I almost let valentines pass without eating and playing with them. It made my day at work. I found a "Marry Me" one, but I won't tell you who got that one. ;)

I feel lighter tonight too. Its as if I had an amazing conversation with a good friend last night where I just got to pour out my broken heart and then just leave it there. I'm a processer so most things have to go through my mind over and over again, but I get stuck if I cant just blurt it all out. I finally laid out the broken pieces, the first time I have really talked to someone about this test since God put it on my desk. It was such a relief, so humbling and the Holy Spirit is miraculous. If today I got a fresh start then I'm one for one. And instead of asking the Lord to take it away, I realized I was asking God for more. Its unreal how in Christ when we are nothing, we see how MUCH we are His. The most life changing daily prayers of this season have been, " Lord, make me less," and "Not my will but yours, Lord." Ask Him, I dare you.

Tonight I get to go to this weekly intercessory prayer meeting. I'm part of this group that prays for you, us and this campus. Its tight cuz we get down to business with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Its intense, I'm sure bystanders would think we are intoxicated. Its so funny, but its so true if you were to step back and put yourself in a random persons shoes. Not just this prayer meeting, but anytime the Holy Spririt is moving powerfully and people are worshipping, bowing, praying ,singing, crying, shouting etc. Its got to be strange to someone looking in. Well i gotta get ready. Tomorrow is greenroom, I'm so excited. Saturday might be a beach trip, who knows.

peace.

Love, the GFU Community

"Stained Glass Masquerade"
By Casting Crowns

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

D.C. anyone?

Well tonight I officially committed to Washington D.C. Its so last minute its pretty unbelievable I can even go. Sounds like fun I guess, the National Prayer Center, the Oregon Senators, all the cool stuff to see in DC, people I don't know and 7 days of ??????, who knows what. If you ask God to open miraculous doors and then He does, you would think it would be easy to have a thankful attitude. My heart honestly is struggling about going on this trip because I feel like I would be fine if not better off without it. Right now, it isn't me at all. Seriously, but I guess that leaves room for only God. Its not that I don't want to take this amazing opportunity I just don't understand it all I guess. At the same time I can't go without expectating and anticipating God to reveal His glory since I have nothing to do with this situation. God, you better see something I don't, I'm at your mercy. I'm waiting for affirmation that I heard God right and then made a really big decision based on what i thought I heard. Talk about being completely defenseless and almost helpless. Resistance comes before a move of God. God are you moving?

It feels like Sunday

I have to go back to work tomorrow so it makes it feel like today is Sunday and tomorrow is Monday. It is throwing me off a little because for everyone else its now the weekend and a break from school. Its a weird feeling. Well my "weekend" is topped off tonight by working at a wrestling tournament at Tualatin HS. I did my HS rotation there and covered the district wrestling meet last year at Canby. Now its back to wrestling for the evening with a bunch of sweat and lots of blood usually. You have 90 secs to stop the bleeding or else they have to forfeit the match. Its kinda intense I guess. I hope its not boring and for my own selfish gain I hope something exciting happens. Nothing too serious or life threatening, but worth my time. That sounds terrible, but I would't have a job if people didn't get hurt.

the miracles in heaven

This week at work 2 ladies have passed away. One on my day off and one a couple days ago when I was working. I knew both of them, but hadn't worked closey with them individually. My heart breaks for their soul because I don't know where it is for eternity. I have thought about it, but not really thought about my relationship with the people at work and its eternal consequences. Parts of me say it doesn't matter because these people have a severe progression of alzheimers and have stopped living life as we know it. However, my grandma had alzheimers and after a fall she was hospitalzed a few days before she passed away. I had just gotten saved and I questioned whether or not it would mean anything to pray with her, but I felt I had to do it. A couple days before she died I went to the hospital and sat with her and read psalm 23. I talked to her about life and God and that she didn't have to be scared; she was 92 years old so she had lived her life. Then I told her about Jesus and lead her in the sinners prayer, knowing she couldn't speak and probably didn't even understand my words, but my heart was begging for her soul and a miracle I would only see in heaven.

I was talking to the roommate of the lady who died while I was at work and although I already knew she told me her roommate had died, but she was a christian. Going along with it I said yeah so she is in heaven and she replied, " yeah i can't imagine how happy she is. I wonder what its going to be like." She asked me if I was a christian and went to church and she told me she was a christian and was looking forward to heaven. I seriously got teary eyed and choked up trying to have this conversation with her. It struck something in me, the hope of the Lord I guess. All i could picture was this lady who I knew the last 2 months of her life in pain and suffering, vibrant, joyous and alive before the Lord. It was incredible.

It makes me ponder our earthly vessel and the meaning of our soul. It reminds me of our limitations as humans to only speak and tend to our temporary tent. I guess that gives me hope because God is not limited by our human condition and my job is to just take of their vessel, but ask God to take care of their soul. I think I'm going to try praying for each persons salvation as I get them up and ready in the morning. It takes about 15 mins per person to get them up and ready for breakfast. Some just need a little help and some can't do anything for themselves so its possible a conversation about the Lord will come up when God wants it too. I need to pray more, I feel like I can't take this too lightly. If you get bored, you could pray too and we can look forward to the miracles that will await us in heaven.

Can it be?

Can the greatest and most defining vision of your life be enough to conquer the greatest anguish in your heart?

If you ask for a miracle and then God provides can you ask God to take it back?

If God is enough, the only one, our all in all can you still ask for a friend?

Can a person that never cries become the one who needs to cry the most?

Can the person everyone thought was strong enough be the weakest of us all?

Can an empty heart avoid be filled with bitterness and negativity?

Can you be struggling and battling, but not against flesh and blood?

Can people forget who they thought you were and love you as you are?

If you have convinced yourself you don't need anyone can God change you mind?

Lord what can you do with me?

30 years

I have to get this all down before i forget, even though its impossible to forget. Side note..I'm feeling kinda sick right now like dizzy and nauseous, so excuse unclear thought and random typos.

I went to GU 2 tonight and I knew I was going with expectancy and anticipation. I had 3 specific questions I wanted answered by the voice of God.

Q:
1. Am I called to be a pastor?
2. Am I supposed to go to the missions field for a year in Uganda or Cambodia?
3. God could you at least unfold the next step in this thing I like to call my future?

A:
1. I am responsible for the next 30 years to my generation. Why 30 years??? Because in the next 30 years our generation, the largest living generation right now will be running our country and our world. In the next 30 years and less we will see a shift from all things that pertain to"our parents", pertain to "us". In the next 30 years in every current occupation right now from pastors to shop owners and from the president to the teachers, we will see our peers in those positions. The teenagers and 20 somethings right now will be the supreme court justices, the UN ambassadors, the school principals, the doctors and most importantly, the parents of the next generation. They say less than 4% of our generation claims to be a born again evangelical Christian and in the the next 30 years we are going to see that impact everything we know and live by. I feel a burden on my heart for the other 96% before that time comes. In the next 30 yeaers most of us will have kids and have raised them. Right now God is shaping us to be their coaches, teachers, pastors, bus drivers, counselors, professors, doctors, employers and parents. I don't know if any of this is making sense. I have never thought this way before, I'm not really sure where it is coming from. All I know is that Jesus must become a part of this 96% of our peers and as a pastor of my peers, they are my sheep. I feel like I could never grasp the implications of this vision or even what I'm typing right now. God has burned in my heart a purpose and anointing that makes me responsible to the Kingdom of God, only for the glory of the His name. This is the boldest statement I have ever said in my entire life, but yes I an called to pastor my generation.

2. God said, "Wait."

3. This next one is really scary and God's a weirdo :) here's how it went:

G: Go to Washington D.C.
K: what????? why???? I asked you about uganda or cambodia not washington D.C.
G: Remember that the pastors and some college people from city bible are going the end of feb.
K: Yes but i have to work. It is impossible for me to go. There is no way. God is this really you , what are you saying to me, I don't understand.
G: Ask pastor lisa if you can still go and how much it costs?
Lisa: Sure you can go if its God's will it costs $1000.
K: Well its impossbile for me to go without God.
Lisa: Then we will pray if its God's will that he will provide work off and the money to go.
K: when do i need to know by?
L: Monday.
K: This is even more impossible.
G: Ask me. With me nothing is impossible.

So far

Today I went to my first class. We talked about our papers and how to properly quote things in our paper. We have to use APA guidlines which changes every month. Details, details, details. I guess its important for a Senior Thesis. I still need to pick a topic. I had one, but I want t o change it. I have been feeling particular motivated so after breakfast with Steph at the French Bear ( YUM, i totally recommend it) I went to class, then to Hillsboro to get fingerprinted (its not as far away as I thought, we should hang out there), then I got my oil changed, went to the bank, and bought some bread. Now I'm just killing time before going to Campus Ministries to try and make myself useful and then to a discussion/session about women in ministry and pastoral leadership hosted by Sarah Baldwin and Kendra Irons. Its at 4pm at Chapters. I guess it is something that they are going to have every other friday. Interesting. Then after a vanilla chai to wake me up, its off to GU round 2 which I'm super excited about. WOOO, what a day. Probably a late night too, but thank goodness chai keeps me up for like 48 hrs. :) Have a good weekend everybody.