i am mad at...

you are a lie
you are joke
you are a waste

let it go
move on
walk away
fall apart

get screwed
throw it back
make it right
start a fight

you aren't worth it
cut it off
give up
you are cursed

you read it
too late
i'll be gone
for good

bury it
leave a stone
go alone

speak it

john 12:23-28
colossian 3:12-17
ephesians 3:16-19

at the start
he was there
in the end
he will be there
after all our hands have wrought
he forgives

oh the glory of it all is
that he came
for the rescue of us all
that we may live
for the glory of it all

all is lost
find him there
after night
dawn is there

after all falls apart
he repairs

oh he is here
for the redemption of the fall
that we may live
for the glory of it all

after night
comes the light
dawn is here
its a new day
everything will change
things will never be the same

oh the glory of it all is
that he came
for the rescue of us all
that we may live
for the glory of it all

not tuna?!?!

when i was younger I remembered eating really good tuna sandwiches. They aren't something that i crave often, but occasionally I'm up for a good one. A couple months back, I got one of these cravings. I bought tuna fish but I couldn't quite remember what you mix in. I tried mayo, but it wasn't quite right so I added mustard. Still, not quite right or even that good. As a final attempt I added hot sauce. I figured they make spicy tuna sushi so why not a spicy tuna sandwich. It was edible, but certainly not anything close to what my mom made. We can call this, Tuna Sandwich failed attempt #1. Yesterday, I found another can of Tuna in my cupboard that i must have bought when i had my cravings months ago. I hadn't been brave enough to attempt again until yesterday. This time i asked my roommate and my friend who was going to share a tuna sandwich with me, how do you make a tuna sandwich? mayo? yep. mustard? nope. hot sauce? are you crazy? relish. oh yeah i do remember relish, but i remember dill relish though my roommate suggested sweet relish. celery. yeah i think i have had tuna with celery so i'll try that. salt and pepper. k, sounds good to me. Tuna sandwich attempt #2. I have what i needed except dill relish. when i was at the store sweet was cheaper than dill, so i thought i would follow my roommates recommendation. I thought maybe that would be the secret to the famous mom tuna sandwich. I followed the advice of my friends and I came away with a fairly decent tuna sandwich, but it still just wasn't right, not what i remembered. So what does a daughter do next, but call up her mom and yes, ask her how she makes a tuna sandwich (i am growing up i promise). I explained the whole ordeal to my mom, how i tried unsuccessfully to replicate the delicious sandwich from childhood.

"So Mom, what do you put on a tuna sandwich?"
"mayo. salt. pepper."
"Thats it?? i tried that and it didn't work. i remember relish, dill relish, do you put that in it?"
"i might have, but really i rarely made tuna for you girls growing up, but i made a lot of chicken salad sandwiches.
"CHICKEN?!?!?!" with dill relish?????
"yeah"
"THATS IT, THATS WHAT I REMEMBER!!! IT WASN'T TUNA!?
my mom is now hysterically laughing at me. "nope it was chicken."

this whole time my poor memory thought that great tasting sandwich was tuna, but nope. no wonder why a real tuna sandwich didn't taste right. it wasn't chicken.

twenty six and

i ate yummy indian food.
i am so blessed by friends.
i couldn't blow out all my candles, and there wasn't even 26.
i have enjoyed lunch dates and new music
cards and loving words.
i have laughed at myself and others.
i wrote a paper, finished a book
slept in, went for a run
i have felt loved, known and accepted
i have hung out with jesus
i have worshiped him
i am thankful
i am learning
i am hopeful.